Session 86: Ding Dong the Douche is Dead (July 2, 2025)
Last session, our heroes faced off against Kogar Mistwall, a brutal tyrant with a long list of terrible deeds, the most recent of which was rudely objecting to the holy union of his daughter and Elias. The ensuing fight started off dire, as a mystical fog covered a portion of the battlefield and Kogar strode in, single-mindedly striking at Elias. However, the tide turned after Maho jumped out of a large cake, proceeding to knock a dude off a waterfall and push Kogar into a hole that was just deep enough to be embarrassing that he had trouble getting out. After the detonation of Heph’s Glyph of Warding and a surprise appearance by a roiling mass of be-knifed dolls, Maho did what she does best: pushed Kogar off the fucking cliff, causing him to tumble into the River Sarn below.
We rejoin our heroes as they make chase, tracking the submerged lord emperor and seeking to end his reign of terror once and for all.
- The group starts to chase Kogar down the river, running
on top while Kogar swims, and as they do so
Heph manages to activate Heat Metal 3 more times, dealing a bit
more damage to Kogar
- Kogar continues swimming southeast along the cliff face for a few minutes, and we start to notice some changes in the River Sarn as we go
- It starts to become more turquoise and glints a bit, like other times when we have encountered fey creatures, possibly influenced by the spirit in the cage
- While running, we see multiple dark figures swimming under the water, and Heph begins flying again to make sure he is out of range
- Several weird fish-like humanoid creatures pop out of the water
- Heph flies up towards the Kuo-toas and hits them with a
Thunderwave, pushing back #1 and #3, but #2 manages to resist the push
- Kuo-toa #1 takes a bite at Maho and misses, then slashes with its claws, barely missing that as well, and then takes another bite and misses
- #2 bites at Maho, misses, slashes at Maho, dealing some damage, and then dives under the water
- #3 bites at Maho and crits, dealing some damage, slashes at Maho and misses, and then dives under the water as well
- Maho swings at #1 a couple of times, killing it, and runs a bit further downriver
- Elias runs over to a sandbar, flips his cloak to sand color and hides, and then readies an action to shoot at the next fish dude that comes up
- Heph launches a Fire Bolt at one of the submerged Kuo-toas and
misses, and continues to fly downriver
- #2 pops up, triggers Elias’ readied action, and he hits him with a shot
- #2 bites at Maho and misses, slashes at Maho and misses, and slashes again, missing
- #3 pops up and charges Elias, biting him and dealing some damage, slashes at him and misses, and then slashes again and misses again
- Maho slashes at Kuo-toa #2 a couple of times, eviscerating it, and then uses stone throw on #3, dealing a bit of damage
- Elias uses steady aim to hit #3 for 33 damage, absolutely destroying it in one shot with Jarles and making sushi
- Elias eats some sushi to heal, Karrl delivering a Cure Wounds at the same time, and Elias thinks the sushi is what healed him, and Karrl grabs a piece
- Elias readies and shot and Heph readies a Thunderwave for when Kogar surfaces
- Kogar emerges from the water and Misty Steps into the
cave, calling out to Elias “you don’t have your bride with you now
do you”, Elias responds “what?” and Kogar
starts to say “I said...” then just sighs and heads deeper into the cave
- Elias runs into the cave a bit, and seeing that it just seems to keep going, he runs in deeper and hides up against the wall of the cave
- Heph sprints into the cave and encounters Kogar, who swings at Heph, and tries to convince Heph that he can pay more than Elias, Heph tries to convince him Elias pays him 1000gp a day, but he isn’t very convincing
- The cave contains a number of statues holding empty bowls, a sandstone altar in the center with a bowl on it and Old Giant writing on its front, and an empty-handed statue behind it
- Maho dashes into the cave, managing to get next to Kogar, and then uses a second wind to recover some health
- Kogar uses his legendary actions to try to convince Maho to join him saying “I could use a strong person like you in my army”, she refuses by saying “I could use you in a grave”, and he swings at her 3 times, hitting all 3 shots
- Kogar’s eyes gleaming, he activates the effect on his axe
and attacks Maho twice, landing both hits for a good chunk of
damage, and stays put in the position between Heph and
Kogar
- Elias slides runs up and slides past Kogar, stabbing him with Jarles as he slides up to him, then stabs at him with his dagger, but misses the extra stab, and then runs further into the cave, up to the table with the sandstone bowl, sliding over the table and jumping onto the statue’s head
- Kogar smirks at Elias and says he’s coming for him next, and Elias blows him a kiss in response, and a fog rolls in, obscuring our vision, and then he swings at Maho, dealing a chunk of damage to her
- Heph runs away from Kogar, healing Maho on his way to the center of the room, and Karrl flies back towards the entrance of the cave to keep an eye on the entrance
- Maho shifts to the side, striking Kogar and pushing him out of the fog cloud, then emerges from the fog cloud a second later and strikes him a second time, pushing him back into a statue, and then heals herself a bit
- Kogar once again recklessly attacks Maho,
hitting her 3 times, but she manages to barely stay up after the round of
attacks
- Elias runs up to Kogar and slashes at him with Jarles, landing a hit with Jarles and a second hit with his dagger, and then dashes away
- Kogar attacks Maho using his legendary actions, landing 2 of them and taking Maho down
- Heph runs through the mist to Kogar and punches him in the face with his gauntlets, pouring a wild Magic Potion down Maho’s throat and causing her to teleport to the astral plane
- Maho wakes up in the astral plane, and seeing a dark sky she is confused, thinking that it was day and she was inside a cave, looking down there’s no ground below her, just a flat expanse of opalescent surface that seems solid, and the stars seem weirdly close to her, and the sky is rippling as if cloth in an unfelt breeze, and there is a very tall woman standing about 20 feet away, and she looks down at Maho nourishingly
- Maho sits up for a moment and asks the lady “where is this?”, the lady tips her head curiously at Maho and says “you have passed through the shroud, but you do not yet reside here”, and she continues to say she doesn’t typically meet people who are here to just visit, she usually only meets people when they die
- She tells Maho she entered her domain through battle but not death, and asks Maho who she is fighting and what she is fighting for, and Maho replies we are fighting a real asshole of a dictator that has taken over the Nor’Southern Isles and is working with a pretty bad man
- The woman closes her eyes and thinks for a moment, then opening them again she looks to the side, and Maho sees a cluster of stars there, and the woman continues to say there have been a lot of crossing from the Nor’Southern Isles, and she asks Maho if he is the reason for the crossings
- Maho explains he is part of it, and he also plans to take over Perrinor, and then asks the woman if she is the guardian of the afterlife, and Maho notices she is the one referred to as Yura (the moon), and is the counterpart to Vaitera (the sun), one of her domains is life and protection, and it is also said she shepherds life
- As Maho talks about Kogar crossing planes, she looks to the collection of holes and tears in the fabric near the Nor’Southern Isles
- Maho, thinking she is dead, tries to hand Yura her sword, and Yura smiles kindly and asks Maho if she is sure she wants to relinquish the power, Maho explains she doesn’t know where the power comes from and thinks it probably belongs to Yura
- Yura explains once again that Maho is not actually dead, and asking Maho about the fight some more, explains she hasn’t seen any of Maho’s friends come through, meaning the fight must be not yet lost
- Yura says relinquishing the souls to her would be giving her a gift, and Maho seems very ready to give it up, as it is a constant reminder of the people she has had to execute
- Yura says carrying souls is not meant for mortals, and she is meant to bear it, and Maho holds out the katana to her, she takes it and the blade glows, the faces of the captures souls flowing out and orbiting her arm, faces that Maho won’t soon forget, and Yura says she will guide them to where they need to be, except Isabella who is instantly sucked to Christian hell
- Yura hands back the blade to Maho, which is back to room temperature, and explains the burden the sword once bore is no longer carried by its material, and she might have to find out more about the individual that made the blade
- Yura tells Maho the fight is not yet lost and might yet be won, and asks Maho has the strength to return
- Somewhere in this entire interaction some astral sheep show up and Yura has a shepherd’s staff [dammit no she doesn’t]
- Maho replies that she is pushing her limit but she has to keep pressing on if the fight is not yet over, and Yura says “the fight is never over”, places her hand on Maho’s head, Maho’s vision goes dark and she feels herself drifting away, and as she does Yura says “I will return the favor at some point, but take this gift as a free offering”, and Maho heals a bit, recovers an ability and returns to Perrinor at the beginning of her turn
- Heph and Elias see Maho just lay there and some silver light shines on her and some of her wounds close up a bit as this whole interaction happens
- Maho clutches the Aelos Duster, pulls herself up, and saying “that was a good one for sure, but bet you didn’t see this coming” she swings at Kogar again 4 times, dealing a good chunk of damage and bringing him down to very low health
- Kogar has an air of desperation, and Misty Steps towards
Elias, looking at him and saying “this should have been between
you and me. You won’t take my daughter”, and closing the distance he swings
twice at Elias, hitting him twice for a big chunk of damage and
almost taking him down
- Elias says “I’m not taking her (Ash), she’s leaving you”, and a trident flies down the hallway straight to Elias’ hand, and he drops Jarles to catch it
- Elias stabs at Kogar with the trident, ramming this flaming/freezing trident into his heart and lifting him triumphantly into the air
- Turns out lifting your girlfriend’s impaled dad is similar to a mother lifting a car off of her child, who knew?
- As Elias watches the life fade from Kogar’s eyes and he tries to deliver some final works, Elias puts a finger on his lips and kisses him and winks, stopping him from delivering his speech, and he dies perplexed
- Heph jumps up on Kogar’s back and stabs him a few times, just to be sure he doesn’t regain consciousness, using Jarles which Elias tosses to him, and then hands Elias back Jarles for one final stab to explode his head for good measure
- With that, so ends Kogar Mistwall, Lord Emperor of the
Nor’Southern Isles, Tyrant of Scythcrest Reef, mass
murderer, terrible dad, killed by Elias’ hand
- The cage on his wrist stops feeding his power, and Heph breaks the cage open, Elias picking up the gem with Mage Hand, and realizing the spirits are probably angry and will likely lash out, despite us not being the ones to imprison them
- As the blood of Kogar drips off the prongs of the trident, Maho notices the trident absorb some blood and a dark sheen pass over the trident briefly
- On Kogar’s body we find 11200gp, of which we decide to set 1200gp aside for the hirelings, and then divide the 10000gp amongst Ana, Ash, Heph, Elias, and Maho
- Maho pulls Heph and Elias into a big hug, thankful to be alive
- Maho notices that the cloaked statues bear Goliath horns
- Maho studies the ancient writing, getting a rough translation to be “Blood nourishes and blood destroys. Offer blood, and choose.”