Session 94: Eden Blows Up a Ship (November 6, 2025)
Last session, our heroes planned their assault on the invading force of the Nor’Southern Isles over a nice home-cooked breakfast. They decided to head down to the docks to join the fight. The ex-agents joined them for breakfast. Tal Overstream didn’t particularly want to help, but Gurt Pelor spoke his first words to the group. Upon learning that repelling the invasion would help address the Sentin problem, he jumped out the window, turned into a bear, and ran away.
The party then heard glass breaking downstairs. Experiencing an unpleasant sense of déjà vu, Heph went to investigate and found a crew of looters taking advantage of the beginning of the invasion to try and make a quick score. The party quickly and non-lethally dispatched the group, giving them much more than they bargained for. Eden got into her first actual fight and tried to inject at least a bit of diplomacy into it, noticing as well that the other two were not aiming to kill. Maho tested out her new axe, getting a feel for the balance as she critted multiple times and slowed the fleeing burglars. Eventually the party knocked them all out to be arrested, leaving one impressed into their service to aid in the defense of the city.
After alerting the constabulary, the party headed to the docks where a tense exchange of munitions was taking place. Constable Haxa was overseeing the return fire, as well as the construction of various defensive works for when the ships eventually made landfall. Heph helped improve the siege weapons, increasing their range and accuracy, and made one designed to fall apart to trick the invading fleet into thinking that the defenses were crumbling. Maho and Eden went off to the Warehouse District to see what the small vessels flitting about near the fleet might know. There they met Fruto Bupbop, a Devotee of the Heavenly Cap, and convinced him they knew Elias. They, with the intel he gave, learned that Mort was being held on one of the ships, and narrowed it down to four. Eden’s owl spotted a higher ranking figure on one of those ships, guessing that that must be the flagship where Mort was. They also learned that Mort was “with The Brig”, phrasing which they suspected was fey bullshit.
And so, with their scouting completed, the party prepared their counterattack against the fleet.
- Meeting back up, Heph tells them about the siege weapon rigged to
fall apart, and Maho tells Heph they met up with Fruto
- Maho explains they can prepare a ship for us, and Eden actually found the ship Morty was on
- Eden suggests we could go find Elias’ ship before executing the water walking plan
- Heph explains a bit more about the situation, explaining that now that the Emperor is dead the Crown Prince is technically in charge, and we might have to kill him to resolve the situation, but Eden is very reluctant to do that
- Ultimately she thinks we should just go straight to the flagship and skip finding Elias, trying to avoid meeting Elias and further complicate the situation
- We decide to trigger the defender’s trap immediately, while we board our ship and start heading out to the fleet
- We leave Alfonso the looter with the defenders, and Heph checks in with the Constable, telling her to execute the feint whenever she is ready
- We head to the warehouse district to meet up with Fruto and board the ship he
is preparing for us
- Heph walks up, saying we need a boat to meet up with Elias, and Fruto is willing to sail the sloop he can procure for us
- Eden notices he is maybe not the most proficient with a boat, and asks him if there is anyone more proficient who can sail the boat
- He has managed to get himself tangled in the rope, and after extracting himself runs back to the warehouse comes back with a real sailor
- Eden introduces herself and asks for the sailor’s name, and he replies Bartolomeo Burton
- Heph tells him we need to get to Elias, and he gets the ship underway and starts to head towards the other small ships
- Eden uses gust to give the boat a bit of a push, and we pick up some speed
- As we approach the boats Heph starts messaging for Elias, and manages to get him in the middle of having a rough time in the bathroom
- Having identified the boat, Bartolomeo pulls us up alongside, and Ash greets us from on deck
- She explains that Elias is in the bathroom, and as we climb on board Eden coughs a bit, reminding Heph to introduce her, and he does, Ash remembering her as the previously unconscious person
- Ash asks Eden not to sink her ship, and Eden, immediately nervous, starts a fire in the sails, but manages to put it out before it does much damage
- Ash asks what we’re doing here, and Heph fills her in on
the plan with the defenders and that we’ve figured out which ship
Mort is likely on
- They have been trying to figure out what the command structure of the ships are, and she doesn’t think it’s super likely her brother is on board
- She doesn’t know much more than Mort is “with the brig”, and also doesn’t really know what that entails
- Elias finally finishes in the bathroom, banging his head on the ceiling as he stands up, and comes up on deck
- He sees Fruto prostrating himself on deck, and walks over to him, extending his hand for Fruto to kiss it, which he does
- Heph uses prestidigitation to clean Elias’ hands and other areas (specifically he sends a spider robot into his pants), and then we catch Elias up on what is happening
- Elias is really excited by the prospect of killing a bunch of the traitors, but has to return the bathroom and won’t be able to join the party
- Heph asks if Ash can spare anyone else to round out the party, deciding they should leave Fruto there to help Elias
- Fruto, hearing this, immediately runs off to Elias, Heph yelling after him to find some toilet paper for Elias
- We recruit a Peg Leg Steve and Bartolomeo to join us, and Heph ritual casts water walk on the group, and 5 additional people on Elias’ ship
- We decide to use the sloop as a distraction, with an illusory Iron Golem from Elias’ deck of illusions as the only visible thing on board, and when we get close enough, the 5 of us will jump off the boat, invisible, and make our way to the flagship
- We start heading towards fleet, Maho noticing a mangonel being
loaded, and pushes everyone off the deck into the water out of danger, getting
hit with a few splinters of exploded mast as she does so
- She manages to escape the fleet’s notice with a little help from Heph, and uses another charge of the spell-storing item to return herself to invisibility
- We sneak behind the ships and start following the flagship, planning to sneak onboard from the back
- Heph floats up about halfway up the stern of the ship and starts painting a 5 sq ft hole in the boat with the marvelous pigments, and upon completing it a hole opens in the side of the ship
- The hole seems to open into a private berth with a small bed, desk, and an armored soldier, who notices the hole
- Eden, seeing the hole open, activates her innate sorcery
- The soldier is a bit confused, then opens the door and walks out of the room
- Bartolomeo moves closer, asking what the plan is, and waits a bit
- Heph moves into the ship, tries to distract the soldiers with a pebble and sneak in a door, but the guards notice the doors open, and Heph flies up to the ceiling and tries to make himself as small as possible
- One of the soldiers walks under Heph, somehow not hitting him, and peeks into the other room Heph opened
- The other soldiers below deck are alerted and start to move towards the doorway
- Peg-Leg Steve uses some daggers to climb up the side of the ship, and manages to slip in through the hole
- A sailor comes out of the room next to Heph and stabs at him, but doesn’t land any shots, and a few more sailors appear and throw some more knives
- Maho hears Eden wondering how she’s going to get in, and decides to grab Eden and throw her in first, and then jumps up and climbs into the ship herself, managing to stay unnoticed, and peeking out into the hallway, she sees a group of sailors throwing daggers at the roof
- She steps out into the hallway and attacks the nearest soldier, completely beheading him, and steps up to a sailor, smashing him back 20 feet, and then hitting the next sailor for a good chunk of damage and pushing him back as well, then activating a rune to make herself resistant to damage
- Eden walks out of the door, and seeing a pool of blood and a
headless man yells out “Miss Maho!”, and Maho responds
“You can’t prove I did that” with blood dripping from her axe
- She casts slow on the group of soldiers, then turns into a potted plant and immediately drops her concentration
- The first commando moves up to Maho and slashes at her, dealing some damage, and a second one comes up but doesn’t manage to hit her
- Bartolomeo climbs up, is briefly confused by the potted plant, and peeks out into the hallway, throwing a couple of daggers at the second commando that ran up
- Heph pushes through the commandos, trying to put some distance between himself and the soldiers and sailors, and makes it to the stairs
- One of the soldiers runs upstairs to alert people on the deck, and another one turns to where he heard Heph make a noise and stabs, but doesn’t land a hit
- The only two soldiers run over and throw their spears at Maho, one landing a hit but the other missing badly enough to kill the badly injured sailor
- Peg-Leg Steve comes out into the hallway and throws a couple of daggers at a commando, but don’t manage to land any hits
- A sailor runs up to Maho and slashes at her, landing a little bit of damage, and another one throws a dagger at her, hitting her for a bit more
- Maho swings at a sailor, then a commando, cleaving the sailor to finish him off, and then lands her third attack on the same commando, finally finishing him off with a bonus attack and completely beheading the commando
- She then action surges and swings a few times at the other commando, finally managing to behead him on the third hit
- A couple more commandos, a sailor and the Admiral walk down the stairs, take
in the scene, and prepare the engage in the fight, the Admiral licking her
sword as she pulls it out
- Eden pops back into a rabbit, and seeing the dead bodies asks Maho what happened to not killing anyone, and Maho responds “you still didn’t see anything”
- Eden, attempting to get Maho to stop killing people, polymorphs her into a sheep, and says “Miss Maho! I said we shouldn’t kill anyone if possible, there are multiple heads rolling around!”, and then runs back into the room, closing the door behind her
- One of the commandos heads towards Steve, ignoring Maho, and shoots him with a crossbow a couple of times, taking him down, and the other two move down the hallway towards the room with Eden and Bartolomeo
- Bartolomeo turns to Eden and says “Listen, there comes a moment in every pirate’s life where you want to retreat into your potted walls and moist soil, or turn your friend into a sheep because you’re afraid of what it means to be at war. I have lived a long and dangerous life and killed countless people, the rifts in my soul from the lives I have ended leave my inner self more tattered than whole. But let me tell you this, if I can tell you anything from my long sorrowful life, don’t turn your friend into a sheep, it helps no one. I’m going to go kill some fuckos.”
- He runs out into the hallway and charms one of the commandos, leaving Eden understanding she can’t just turn against Maho once we are already in a battle
- Heph flies around the ship searching for the brig, and doesn’t find it, although he notices a wall in a weird spot on the lowest deck
- A couple of the soldiers move up to Bartolomeo, dealing some damage to him, and the rest dash up towards him
- Peg-Leg Steve manages to succeed on a death save
- The sailors move in, one of them throwing daggers at Bartolomeo and landing a hit, Eden calls out “Bartolomeo!” and he looks back at her saying “A pirate’s best gift is a life well lived”
- Maho suddenly turns back into a woman as Eden drops concentration, clearly moved by Bartolomeo’s words
- Maho swings at the commando next to her, managing to land one hit and attempting to cleave the one next to him but missing, and then activates a rune to give herself Giant’s Might
- The Admiral comes around the stairs and fires some shots at Maho,
but somehow misses all of them, and says “Alright me hearties, let’s clean up
this mess”
- Eden walks into the hallway and says “Maho! You were right all along, Captain Bartolomeo helped me understand!” to which Maho responds “Huh?”, and then Eden gives Maho some bardic inspiration, and then holds her hand out with a spark of flame, and carefully casts fireball to avoid damaging the friendlies, absolutely destroying the soldiers and severely injuring the sailors and commandos
- She has a wild magic surge after casting the fireball, and lightning shoots out from the origin of the fireball, striking and taking down two of the commandos and one of the sailors, and seeing this the Admiral just goes “uh-oh”
- Eden seeing this mess happen, walks back into the room and closes the door